Since Dad died, you know how many times hubs has asked ME how I am?? Z-E-R-O. That's right, zilch. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he feels the best way to deal with things like this is to ignore them. To push them to the side. I explained to him that its not really something I'm going to bring up, but it would be nice if he'd ask me every great once in a while how I'm holding up. That was over a month ago. He's not said a word, and I don't feel like I should have to remind him to ask me now and then if I'm falling apart...which I am.
I'll let you in on an exchange between us that happened the other day. It's sort of funny now, but I was really pissed when it happened. I need to give you the background, though.
I made dinner, as I do EVERY NIGHT. The only difference was that dinner tonight included no meat. Every other dinner, with the exception of maybe once a year, includes meat - because he likes meat. I, on the other hand, don't really like it. I'm forever picking it out of stuff; the thought of eating somethings muscles repulses me. So the ungrateful son of a bitch loads his plate up and says:
Him: Is there no meat in this?
Me: No. Not tonight. But there are beans for protein.
Him: I could care less if beans have protein. I like meat. You know this.
Me: And YOU know that I hate it.
Him: Well. Would it have not been easier to put the meat in mine and just leave it out of yours?
Me: As opposed to? Listening to you bitch at the lack of meat in one meal a year? No.
Him: BUT YOU KNOW I LIKE MEAT.
Me: I don't care. Are you seriously telling me that you're going to stand here and bitch, as you stuff your pie hole with the meal you're bitching about, that you're bitching over this meal not containing any meat? I sit and eat meat EVERY NIGHT because its what YOU like and I NEVER say a word, and you're bitching over ONE MEAL WITH NO MEAT????
Him: You don't have to eat the meat. No one is forcing you to eat the meat.
Me: So I'm supposed to fix myself a separate meal? Oh yeah. That's economical. Then I'd have to listen to you bitch every week that I spent more than $150 at the store. RIGHT. 'Cause I'm up for that after the events of the past 4 months.
Him: I don't know why you're making such a big deal out me stating that I like meat. You point things out to me all the time.
Me: Such as? I'm going to need examples. (Which was me totally being a smart ass....when I bring something up, he demands examples)
Him: I don't know.
Me: So what's your point? If you can't produce examples, you have no proof. (Again, me mocking him)
Him: I just don't see what the big deal is.
Me: What the? How can you not see what the big deal is? You started it! You made it into a big deal. What do you mean you can't see what the big deal is!!!!!!?
I turned and dumped my entire dinner in the trash. I was too pissed to eat! And we didn't speak another word for the remainder of the evening. I suppose it's OK. I am still baffled that he said "Well, no one is forcing you to eat the meat." OH MY GOD. Did he realize he said that out loud? Sometimes, I'd just like to rip his head off and shit down his neck! How can one not realize that they're talking like they've got a paper asshole and their fire insurance just ran out???? Everyone, including me, does it on occasion, but CRAPOLA!!! I can't take this right now!
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