Abuse of power

As a parent, one of my great pleasures has been being able to use the power of Santa. I've been quite irresponsible with it for the past month or so, using it over and over and over. "Santa's watching" I tell her all the time. Finally she started looking out the windows to find him. When I couldn't explain why he wasn't there looking in at us like I said he was, I made up another lie. I told her that Santa has hidden cameras all over people's houses and that's how he watches people. I now have the most obedient child in the northern hemisphere. And if all else fails, I tell her that Santa won't give her the Baby Alive she asked him for. Which brings me to this...

The other night I was at Wal-Mart picking up a few odds and ends. We'd asked about 20 times before if they would be getting anymore Baby Alive dolls in. Everyone told us no. Well, I thought I'd go check...just for shits and giggles if nothing else. I turned down the aisle and there it sat. In the floor. Just staring at me. The coveted Baby Alive that I could find nowhere - not even on the internet (well, I found one that someone was selling for $150, but I'm not THAT crazy). I shoved my cart one way and ran toward the doll screaming "OH MY GOD!" There was a man next to it and I shoved him out of the way and tackled the doll...right in the middle of the aisle. I stood up with the thing and the man couldn't stop laughing at me. I apologized over and over even though I didn't feel bad about nearly knocking him on his ass. I was maayybe a little bit ashamed of my behavior, but not too much to worry about it. I got my payback a few minutes later. As I was walking down another aisle, I passed two little girls who were sword fighting. They stopped to let me by, but I didn't get completely past them before they started whacking each other on the heads again. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and sure enough, I had been stabbed. Right in my effing livers. I even have a bruise to prove it. Little a-holes. Where were their parents?! Shit like that INFURIATES me...not that my behavior over Baby Alive was any better...