Oh man. My kid is SICK. She's barfed 8 or 9 times tonight - in less than 2 hours. The first wave of nausea came just as we were laying down to go to bed. Puke shot out of her mouth and landed all over me and my new bed linens. There was soy milk and green beans all over my 500 TC sheets. Then she said, "Fwo up. I hick. Tummy hult." Lovely. I threw the kid in the shower with her father (she had just had a bath 5 minutes prior to the puking) so he could rinse her off and I ripped the sheets off the bed and threw them into the hall. I took off my clothes, which were covered in yak, and put fresh ones on. I retrieved the kid from the shower, at which point, she told me, "I OK. I feel bettah." I redressed her and we laid down. She wanted milk. Fuck. I tried to explain to her that the milk might make her sick again, but as usual, she wasn't listening. She was throwing a fit. I let her drink about an ounce and took it from her. She began to cry. She fell asleep for about 30 minutes and didn't puke, so when she woke up and asked me for a sip of milk, I relented, though my motherly instinct told me not to. I let her drink another ounce and took it from her. She seemed happy. She was breathing kind of funny and tossing and turning in the bed. After about 20 minutes, she sat up in bed and said, "Mommy. Tummy hult. I hick again." I picked her up with high hopes of getting to the kitchen for the next round. We didn't even make it half way. She barfed three times in the hall. I was covered in yak. Again. She began to cry because the shit just kept coming out of her mouth and it was freaking her out. Watching my kid puke is reminiscent of watching a ferret puke. The things shake their heads when the yak gets to the back of their throat and as it comes out of their mouths, it splatters everywhere (yes, I know from experience - but nothing tops the day I had to give two of our dogs peroxide, yes the vet advised me to, to make them barf....). I called my grandmother. I don't know why. Its not like I don't know what to do with a sick kid - but when yak was spewing out of her mouth like something from "The Exorcist," I got a wee bit freaked out.
Long story short, I ended up calling the in-laws, who live down the street. I needed Pedialyte and Lysol. Bad. They brought me some because I didn't want to take the baby out. Other than her being "hick," it was raining its ass off. I ended up spending the night at the in-laws house because I was scared. I've seen some nasty looking puke come out of my kid, but nothing like this. I could tell that she was getting a little dehydrated, so that scared me too. I feel better having someone with me, even if I'm not too fond of them...
Oh oh ohooohh. On a better note, I saw an old friend today. We went to school together. It was SO good to see her. And she looked GREAT (unlike me). It was nice to have her sitting in my living room. Shit. I hope she doesn't get sick. Anyway, I hope that we will both continue keeping in touch. She's a beautiful girl with a good heart.
OMG I got the STRANGEST email EVER. I think that someone has mistaken me for someone else, LOL. I gotta copy and past this thing - my responses are in bold.
"indiscriminatedrivel@gmail.com"
Susie AKA The Head Reject. (THR) Who is Susie?
Tina, Gymbomommy, Amber, Jessica, Duchie, Mama2Cass... AKA The Misfit Reject Squad. (TMRS) Again, who ARE these people?
Haha. You pulled one over on us. I did? You have been accessing our database and reading everything that goes on in every forum, as well as PMs and pages since Susie left back in Jan. Fabulous. You all are awesome and super crafty. Awards for you. Good for me - especially since I have no clue how to do any of that. God I am a fucking GENIUS and I didn't even know it!
THR, you are a seriously nosey, power hungry psycho. Oh realllly now? You took advantage of your technical knowhow on this board and completely disregarded the privacy and feelings of everyone on this board. Technical "knowhow" (which, BTW, I think is two words)?? I consider myself lucky to know how to check email. You weren't just "getting" the admin team back for ousting you. You were screwing over & violating EVERYONE here. WHERE DAMNIT, WHERE?? Nobody wanted you here. Nobody liked you. Nobody felt safe with you. Nobody believed you. Take a hint, and as you once told me... cut your losses and go. You are a LYING piece of shit. A *large* piece of shit. Your syrupy sweet "Poor me, I lost a friend, but I am a nice person... really!!" attitude is trash. Well I knew I was overweight...but jeez. And I have never once claimed to be a nice person, FTR. And just where was I ousted from again? I don't recall ever being "ousted" from anywhere. But I do like the sound of that word. Ousted. Ousted. .... I may say it 10 times more. Ousted, ousted, ousted, outsted, oust...OK I'm done.
TMRS, THR may have physically been performing the offending actions - but you took all the information happily and cheered her on while doing it. I haven't been cheering on anyone, except for my kid, who took a dump in the toilet today, by the way. It took 20 minutes for me to convince her to and she was....ohhhhh, I won't bore you with the gory details. That makes you just as guilty as THR - and actually, perhaps even more so... because THR is clearly mentally & emotionally unstable, and you exploited that. Who is this? Susie? If I ever meet her, I'll be sure to steer clear of her. You all, collectively, are the fakest, most needy people I have ever come across. You believe anything and everything that someone feeds you because it sounds good, at the time. You *need* acceptance from someone, anyone, in messageboard land - regradless of who that "someone" is at the time. What on earth is messageboard land? You refer to a non-existant place and then call someone else psycho? Oh the humanity! NOW you have a mind of your own with your own thoughts and opinions? I always have. Well, at least since last week; mid-week. No, now you have just sold it to the next bidder. Who's next? HOLY CRAP. You mean I can make money off of that? I always knew I was in the wrong business!! We have no idea what Susie fed you to make her past actions "ok" with you all - but, simply put, you are nobody losers. Again, I don't know who this Susie chick is, but I won't deny being a nobody loser in messageboard land. Especially since I don't have the 1st clue as to what or where it is. And no one named Susie has ever fed me anything. I don't even know anyone named Susie, except for a friend's dog, and she died 6 years ago. The dog. Not the friend.
We do remember the outrage from all of you when someone was mistakenly given access to our admin forums. Uhhhhh, what? Sure. Whatever you say. Somehow this is justifiable? Because you have "escaped" the cult? As you like to put it? HOLY SHIT. I was part of a cult??! Ohhhh I am SO gonna go to hell for that.... Seriously how sad and pathetic is it that you supposedly feel "free" now that you aren't posting with us? Seriously how is it that whoever this email was directed to (me, I guess, and I don't know you) wouldn't feel free of having anything to do with you after receiving this psycho babble email? Christ. That you supposedly haven't shared a mind or thought of your own in years? REALLY? So THAT'S been the problem?. God. I always wondered where these voices in my head came from. I thought they might be heriditary, but now I know the truth. Wow. Ick. You people are scary to let messageboard land control you like that. So sorry it took us so long to figure it out. Ummm, have you figured out yet that you're crazier than a shit-house rat? Ohhhh, I shouldn't have said that. It was mean.
Ultimately, it backfires on you. Hell, what doesn't? You all want people to come to your board? I don't have a board of my own, thanks!...Post with you? Trust you? Think that you all are nice, decent individuals? Hmmm... yeah think about that one a minute. Yeah. Let's do think about this for a minute. Hi pot. I'm kettle. You're black. What are you doing in that database THR? Wait. Is this Susie?? I am SO lost. What type of info are you collecting on people? Hold up. Can I make money doing this, too??? Your gross design and attitude of that place implies that you are really caring people just wanting to talk about your babies? Good luck with that. Your board truly is "The Reject Club" and you all deserve one another. Could you please fill me in on who it is I truly deserve???
LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DISGUSTING, HAIRY BEAST!
Oh God. I don't know who you are, but I seriously haven't had this much fun replying to an email in YEARS. Thank you for the entertainment. And I thought I was in for a dull evening....
Susie : babyjustinsmama (on ezboard), Susie on Dallas Area Moms & elsewhere I'm a good 6 hours from Dallas...the only person I know there is my husband's Aunt, and her name isn't Susie.
Tina : TinaM811 (on ez & SK) The only Tina I know has no children. Just 2 dogs. And her last name starts with a D. I assume that this Tina's last name starts with an M.
Gymbomommy : GymboChris (elsewhere) I assume this crack-whore likes Gymboree??
Jessica : emmasmominar (ez, SK, FG) Now this is scary. I DO know of a Jessica in AR, but her kid's name isn't Emma.
Amber : Laurasmummy (on ez) I don't know any strippers....at least I don't think I do.
Duchie : DuchsLove (everywhere), Momof1 (elsewhere) Is this chick from the Netherlands? Cool! Does she wear wooden shoes and pick tulips all day long? Is Duchie also Momof1? Or is that supposed to be 2 separate people??
Mama2Cass : Stacybabe (ez) I don't know of anyone with a kid named Cass, let alone anyone named Stacy who's a babe....You know what I found out on E! Hollywood True Story, though? Mama Cass really DIDN'T choke on a sandwich. Can you believe that???? God. How do rumors like that get started anyway?
No comments:
Post a Comment