Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Here and there. This and that.

This post could go in several different directions, or none at all, so bear with me. I'm loopy on antihistamines. What the hell blooms in late December?! Maybe its mold growing - or something.

My New Year's resolution, which I already know I won't keep, is to shed the "baby weight." Now in all honesty, just how long can you claim it as "baby weight?" I know a woman with a 19 year old son who still uses that line. I was on bed rest for quite some time, and I was surprised at how much I ballooned up. Shocked, really. And still shocked at how hard it is to lose weight as I approach the dreaded 3-0. Ten years ago, I could drop 15 lbs in a week if I needed to. I said that I'd kill my self if I was ever more than a size 6, because that was incredibly fat to me, a size 0 at the time. But I'm not dead just yet....

My kid will be 2 years old in 6 days - OMG - 6 days? Where did the time go? I wish that fat went away as fast as time does.

I was one of those people who turned into a blithering idiot the second my kid was born. Well, once all the drugs wore off anyway. I can count on 2 fingers just how many babies I'd held before mine. I didn't like babies. Really. I didn't. I had absolutely ZERO motherly instinct. I would have been a bad mom to even a snake. But once I held her, I was forever changed into a cooing, babbling, baby-talking human. Forget that I have an IQ of 145. Three years ago, I would have hated myself for who I've become. Surprisingly enough, I enjoy the living shit out of being a mother. Of course, having the greatest kid on Earth helps. Just don't let YOUR kid cry in public. It annoys the piss out of me.

Oh....uh oh. There goes the diet. I'm eating Golden Flake Hot Thin and Crispy potato chips. And I thought I'd get a head start on the diet...whatever. Shit these things are good. I'll start again tomorrow. I've got a few more days before it becomes a legitimate failure.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't tampons flushable? We've had a situation for the past 4 months with our plumbing. The plumber comes over, does his roto-rooter deal, and leaves. Today, we got a phone call. It was him. He said that he was embarrassed to tell us the other day, but the clog was caused by tampons. Well shit. I never thought about it because the blockage comes about 2 weeks after my period. I don't flush the applicators, not even the cardboard ones... :::shrug::: The asshole has been rooting around for 4 months and JUST got the nerve to tell us that it was tampons? I'd take great joy in shoving one of them up his peehole.

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